News Snippets from 1918
Daryk Armfield
From Herts Mercury dated 16/2/18
“Wanted: good, single-handed, gardener.”
How much gardening can one do with only one hand?!!
From Herts Mercury dated 16/2/18
“Wanted: a man to look after pigs, with a knowledge of poultry.”
The man’s clearly got to be either multi-talented or totally confused!
From Herts Mercury dated 16/3/18
A claim has been lodged for the return of furniture stored at farm at Goose Green occupied by Mrs Annie Oakley.
This is obviously where she retired to when she had finished shooting up the wild west!
From Herts Mercury dated 18/5/18
“Wanted: Young general — Apply after 4pm – Mrs Dickinson, 115 Ware Road, Hertford.”
I thought all generals were old and had done nearly all of their time in the services – perhaps Mrs Dickinson believes in early promotion.
From Herts Mercury dated 18/5/18
“Wanted: Girl or young lad, for light work in garden. Apply, The Gardener, ‘Beechleigh’, Ware Road, Hertford.”
If the applicant has to apply to the gardener, they clearly need someone who’s familiar with plants, not electrics!
From Herts Mercury dated 15/6/18
“Wanted: Mother’s help, domesticated.”
“Domesticated” has got to be better than someone who’s still a little on the “wild” side!
From Herts Mercury dated 15/6/18
“Wanted: Good, plain, cook, at once.”
Why can’t one have a good-looking one?
From Herts Mercury dated 13/7/18
“We stock single boots for men — lefts or rights: Partridge and Webb, Hertford.”
Were there a lot of single-legged men in Hertford at the time?
From Herts Mercury dated 13/7/18
“Soft and stiff felts, straw hats, ties, socks, collars, and other summer goods in a great variety of patterns and colours for men and little men — Drury Bros, Maidenhead Street, Hertford.”
They obviously stocked nothing for big men!
From Herts Mercury dated 20/7/18
“Brougham for sale; Barker’s body; good condition — Marloes Road, Kensington.”
Clearly nothing to do with Ronnie Barker or Sue Barker!
From Herts Mercury dated 27/7/18
“Officer’s wife requires good general for bungalow near Buntingford.”
What rank, then, is the officer?
From Herts Mercury dated 31/8/18
“Wanted: visiting French mistress — state salary required.”
I won’t ask what lessons she gives!!
From Herts Mercury dated 31/8/18
“Building required — portable preferred.”
Is this a house or a bungalow, and how big’s the crane?
From Herts Mercury dated 7/9/18
“Tree tops, about 100 for sale.”
Did the rest get sold separately?
From Herts Mercury dated 21/9/18
“Wanted: Rabbit skins, 20,000,000 required at once.”
Who on earth wants the job of catching this lot?
From Herts Mercury dated 2/11/18
“Mr J. Laster, gatekeeper at the local crossing at South Mill, Bishops Stortford, has brought up a young pig by hand. It is now a good sized porker, is quite domesticated, and performs many amazing tricks.”
Can this one be put in touch with the multi-talented man above?
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