Poetry from the Pennant, Christmas 1934

The Drivers' 'If'

By Paula Mumford

Watford Commer Fleet
Hertfordshire Archives and Local Studies, Ref: D/P117/29/1

The Official Organ of Benskin’s Watford Brewery Ltd
Ref: D/P117/29/1, Christmas 1934, Vol.3

The Drivers’ “If”

By R.J.C. Brown

“If you can drive from John O’Groats to Devon,
And not tell lies about your average speed;
If you can treat your poor old 3-ton Commer
With all the care a blinking rolls would need;
If you can thread your way through Stortford traffic,
Nor cease from caution when down Langley Lane,
Aware that, once they are in realms seraphic,
No hen or duck will come to life again;

If you respect your brakes and springs, and soften
What might have been a pot-hole’s hellish bump;
If you can use the grease gun well and often,
And keep the safety level in the sump;
If you can smoothly change from top to bottom
When climbing Walden Hill upon your route,
And be heedful at all road signs as you spot ‘em,
And always give cross-roads a passing hoot;

If you avoid the sins of stunt contrivers,
Of cutters-in and breakers of the code,
And always bear in mind that other drivers
Are just as much entitled to the road;
If always you behave with due discretion
As just one item in that Mighty Host,
You’ll be, to give you my profound impression,
A d____d sight better driver, boys, than most”

This page was added on 10/11/2010.

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